I have always marveled at the beauty of fire. The way things radiate when burning. The movement of the flames always look beautiful. Fire is sexy and I derive pleasure in watching things burn. The smooth way in which the flames engulf objects is amazing and fire never burns the same. Fire is beautiful, unpredictable and beautiful. Fire cleanse, it removes impurities.
I started lighting things up for sexual gratification when I was a teenager, the exact age of which I could not remember now. I remembered the time I failed a test, I went back home and brought out a box of matches and lit the test scripts on fire. The joy I felt when the papers burnt erased the sorrow of failing the test. And the climax came when the score burnt. 62/70 looked beautiful when the flame erased the terrible score. Fire erase imperfections. After that incident, I just need to find reason to light things up.
When I am happy, I start a fire. When sad, that is a reason to start fire. Anytime I feel depressed, the smell of burning things is the only thing that brings the joy back to my soul. But the older I grew, the lesser the pleasure I derived from burning inanimate objects. Woods, plants, papers, bicycles, motorcycles and the occasional abandoned cars do not fight back. I had to up my game. I had to find something that will fight back, to provide challenge. The first test subject into animal territory was a rat. The ever present vermin, those guys are everywhere. I locked the doors and windows in the house. I tied the rat to a steel rod and set it on fire. If animals could show expression, then the expression on it’s face would be shock, disbelief and absolute terror. The rat screamed (shrieked) and started thrashing around. But the more it moved, the more it burned. A nice sweet smell filled the house, the aroma of fur and skin on fire. The joy and excitement I felt in my heart and soul. The happiness that coursed through my body made me realized that I had struck jackpot. The scream, smell and the resistance provided great pleasure. The ecstasy I had never felt before flowed through my body.
I continued with small mammals and birds for a long time. Always having the greatest pleasure when they tried to fight back, when they tried to flee. But with time, it got boring. The pleasure I derived diminished and I had to find alternative.
A thought occurred to me now. I believe the only way to achieve the greatest sexual gratification is to do something I have never done before. To burn something I have never dared to burn before. Something to provide the ultimate high.
I have to burn an human alive.